It seems as though the era of godly wives and virtuous mothers is slowly fading away. Many women today carry the identity of being female, but they are not walking in the divine calling of being true women, godly wives, nurturing mothers, and spiritual “mummies” in the home. Even among those in ministry, careers, personal dreams, jobs, and talents often take precedence over their marriage and family life. Some may claim to be daughters of Sarah, but their lives don’t reflect her legacy.
We will only begin to see strong homes and thriving ministries when every woman intentionally chooses to be a godly wife first, and then a devoted mother. The brokenness in our society and the struggles within ministry call for an urgent return to the divine order and responsibilities God has placed on the woman.
A. THE BIBLICAL POSITION OF THE WIFE
(Ephesians 5:22–24; Colossians 3:18; Proverbs 31:10–12, 23, 28; Genesis 3:16)
The Word of God outlines clear and divine responsibilities for both husband and wife. The man is the head, while the woman is the neck that supports and directs. The wife is called to submit to her husband as unto the Lord, to help him, and to walk in her God-given assignment as a helper suitable for him (Genesis 2:18).
In God’s eyes, the wife holds the number two position in the home—not based on age, status, or background—but by divine design.
A wife is called to be:
- The queen of her home – crowned with honor.
- A loving and wise mother – nurturing her children in the fear of God.
- A manager of the household finances – with diligence and integrity.
- The first minister in the home – the priestess of her family altar.
- A vessel of love and respect – to her husband and children.
- A contributor to the well-being of the home – as seen in Titus 2:3–5.
Being second in position does not mean being inferior, useless, or a tool for childbearing or pleasure. No! The woman is a joint-heir with Christ (Romans 8:17), a co-laborer in the Kingdom, and a divine helper. Just as the Church submits to Christ, so should the wife submit to her husband in love, honor, and reverence.
B. QUALITIES OF A BIBLICAL WIFE – THE SARAH GENERATION
(1 Peter 3:1–2, 5–6; 1 Corinthians 11:3)
Sarah, the covenant wife of Abraham, is a godly model for every Christian woman and minister. She represents the standard of godliness, womanhood, and grace.
- She was noble and of excellent character.
- She walked in covenant relationship with God and honored Him.
- She carried a meek and quiet spirit, not loud or domineering (1 Peter 3:4).
- She stood faithfully by her husband in every season.
- She lived a life separate from worldly glamour and pride.
- She humbled herself and walked in obedience to her husband.
- She guarded her purity, not allowing King Abimelech to defile her.
- She called her husband “lord,” showing reverence and honor (1 Peter 3:6).
- She won her husband over by her humility and godly conduct.
- She provided for her household, preparing food and care in due season.
- She brought joy and laughter to her husband – she was a source of delight.
A godly wife is one who has been delivered from rebellion and stubbornness, and who brings peace, love, and honor into the home. She:
- Submits wholly to her husband with a gentle and respectful tone.
- Yields her body to him freely in love and purity (1 Corinthians 7:4).
- Supports his calling in career, business, or ministry.
- Sharpens him through prayer, encouragement, and godly counsel.
- Carries his burdens in prayer and patience.
C. HOW SOME WIVES ARE DESTROYING THEIR HOMES AND LIVES
(Proverbs 14:1)
Unlike Sarah, many women today are unknowingly tearing down their own homes through ungodly attitudes and behaviors:
- Not praying fervently before accepting a marriage proposal.
- Displaying quarrelsome and nagging spirits.
- Walking in jealousy, stubbornness, and unbridled speech.
- Lacking forgiveness, patience, and long-suffering in the marriage.
- Falling into sexual sin, immorality, and carelessness.
- Prioritizing career over calling, and work over home.
- Acting on ungodly counsel from worldly friends.
- Running away from the home at the slightest provocation.
- Refusing to submit, cook, or offer intimacy to the husband.
- Neglecting personal growth, self-care, and development.
- Opening doors to demonic manipulation or occultic practices.
- Becoming slaves to “prophets” and seers, instead of growing in the Word.
- Becoming tormentors instead of comforters – making the home unbearable.
Many blame the devil, in-laws, or external enemies for their marital issues, but in reality, they may be the ones opening doors to destruction. These behaviors are not just weaknesses—they are spiritual warfare against your own peace and destiny.
Recommended Reading
Shepherds and the Burdens of Church Leadership
Top Ten Lessons from the Life of Jephthah
Understanding And Overcoming Anger
D. HOW TO BECOME A MATURE AND GODLY WIFE
(Proverbs 31:28; 1 Samuel 25:10–31)
Maturity in marriage is a journey, not a one-time program. It’s about learning to respond with wisdom and grace in all situations.
- Build and strengthen your relationship with God.
- Grow personally, spiritually, and ministerially.
- Surrender to God’s plan to become the best version of yourself.
- Be a woman of faith and intercession – standing in the gap.
- Conquer your inner battles – fear, jealousy, stubbornness, pride.
- Walk in humility, submission, and covenant faithfulness.
- Intentionally change those attitudes your husband complains about.
- Find ways to delight and please him, as unto the Lord.
- Train your children in godly character and discipline.
- Honor and respect your husband deeply and consistently.
- Protect your home from intrusions, strange women, and gossip.
- Embrace and care for his parents, family, and loved ones.
Choose to accept, admire, appreciate, and wisely advise your husband. Even if he doesn’t recognize or reward you immediately, God sees your heart and your faithful service. As you build your home according to God’s pattern, He will bless you, honor you, and make your home a testimony.