In many parts of the body of Christ, the topic of adoption and foster parenting is considered taboo. A cloud of myths and unscriptural beliefs surrounds it. Yet, in the world we live in today, adoption is a practical and godly reality. As believers, it is important that we renew our minds (Romans 12:2) concerning this matter so that we do not add unnecessary pressure on couples who are believing God for the fruit of the womb. Yes, we walk by faith and not by sight—but sometimes, walking by faith also means taking Spirit-led, practical steps in love and wisdom.
A. SCRIPTURAL FOUNDATION – Exodus 2:5–10
Adoption is not a foreign concept to the Bible. The Word of God gives us clear examples of people who were adopted and still fulfilled destiny. Here are a few biblical instances:
- Moses was adopted by Pharaoh’s daughter – Exodus 2:5–10.
- Esther was adopted by her cousin Mordecai – Esther 2:15.
- Our Lord Jesus Christ was raised and adopted by Joseph, His earthly father – Mark 6:2–3.
- We, as believers, are adopted into God’s family through the Spirit of adoption – Romans 8:15.
Adoption means receiving and raising a child who is not biologically yours, and treating them as your own. Legally, the adopted child takes your name and becomes part of your household just as if they were born into it. It is a reflection of how God lovingly receives us into His family through Christ.
B. THE REALITY OF ADOPTION IN OUR TIME
Many African believers are gradually opening up to adoption, although sadly, some still go about it through improper or illegal channels. Why is adoption becoming more necessary today?
- So many children are suffering, abandoned, or living on the streets.
- Many are malnourished, neglected, or abused.
- There’s a growing number of couples unable to have children biologically.
- Some men and women are medically unable to conceive.
- Many children lose their parents at an early age.
- There are children born to single mothers who cannot raise them on their own.
These are just a few reasons why adoption is a redemptive option. I personally know Christian couples who adopted children and are thriving spiritually, emotionally, and physically. Yet, many still suffer in silence because of cultural stigma, false doctrines, and misplaced faith. Some couples are still trusting God for biological children after 18, 20, even 25 years of marriage. While we must continue to trust God, we should also recognize that adoption can be a divine door to bring joy, peace, and relief from pressure—especially when done in prayer and obedience.
C. LEGALIZING CHILD ADOPTION
There are legal steps that must be followed. Some state government ministries and certain hospitals handle adoption properly. But as believers, everything we do must begin in the place of prayer.
Steps to take:
- Pray sincerely and ask for the leading of the Holy Spirit before embarking on adoption.
- Husband and wife must be in unity on this decision – Amos 3:3.
- Register with the appropriate government agencies and ministries.
- Be prepared spiritually, emotionally, and financially.
- Patiently wait for the full legal process to be completed.
- You will make a choice of the child God leads you to adopt.
- The child will be officially handed over to you after due process.
- Kingdom-minded couples can also adopt to raise children for the Lord and society.
The government will assess your readiness—your love, your resources, and your ability to train the child in godly ways—before approval is given. Interestingly, adopted children often develop very strong emotional and spiritual bonds with their parents. In fact, there are testimonies of couples who adopted and later became fertile—it’s as though God opened their wombs through an act of love.
D. 20 WAYS TO DESTROY YOUR CHILDREN (Biological or Adopted)
Whether raising your own biological children or adopted ones, godly parenting is key. Here are twenty dangerous practices to avoid:
- Spoil them by giving them everything they want.
- Take away all responsibility—make all decisions for them.
- Yell and nag, but never discipline biblically (Proverbs 13:24).
- Let them depend too much on you—later, drugs or wrong influences may replace you.
- Constantly criticize your spouse in front of the children.
- Wives: Dominate your husbands, weakening the fatherly image.
- Husbands: Be harsh and unapproachable, and refuse to offer help.
- Always express disappointment without offering correction.
- Never assign chores—claiming they’re too young.
- Praise their beauty or talent, but never their character or godliness.
- Encourage immodesty in dressing (especially daughters).
- Reward fake illnesses; compare siblings unfairly.
- Break promises—erode trust.
- Never show affection—no hugs, no kisses.
- Leave immoral magazines around—corrupt their minds early.
- Overreact to every injury with exaggerated sympathy.
- Always talk—never listen to them.
- Focus on your needs; ignore theirs.
- Never pray with them.
- Divorce! (A surefire way to create emotional instability).
Children are a heritage from the Lord (Psalm 127:3), and we are stewards. Whether adopted or biological, we must raise them as unto the Lord.
E. STAGES IN FAMILY LIVING
Apostle Paul teaches that effective church leadership begins with godly home management – 1 Timothy 3:5. The family is a lifelong ministry and journey. Understanding the seasons of the family helps us serve and love one another better.
1. The “Happily-Ever-After” Family
The newlywed stage—full of romance and dreams.
Challenges:
- New discoveries: weaknesses, in-laws, financial pressures, delays in conception, intimacy issues, etc.
Commitments:
- Build strong partnership.
- Renew your marriage vows.
- Learn to disagree respectfully.
- See flaws as growth points.
- Never entertain thoughts of quitting.
- Decide to make it work—with God’s help.
2. The “Making-Ends-Meet” Family
Both spouses may be working, or one may be unemployed.
Keys:
- Don’t let joblessness create division.
- Focus on unity and planning.
- Manage your resources wisely together.
Recommended Reading
Community Evangelism
7 Causes of Spiritual Deafness
Examinations Of Life (1)
3. The “Bundle-of-Joy” Family
Children are added—bringing joy and new responsibilities.
Keys:
- See children as blessings, not burdens.
- Parent according to your season.
- Strengthen your marriage; don’t neglect each other.
4. The “Expanding-World” Family
Careers are growing, children maturing, and interests diversifying.
Challenges:
- Different interests
- Overcommitment
- Emotional disconnection
- Outside temptations
- Power struggles
Commitments:
- Stay spiritually mature.
- Keep Jesus at the center.
- Be faithful to your covenant.
- Avoid worldly distractions.
- Establish clear family boundaries.
5. The “Breaking-Away” Family
Teenagers begin to seek independence.
Keys:
- Accept that tension is part of growth.
- Adjust your parenting to match their age.
- Don’t let teens divide your marriage.
- Maintain discipline with grace.
6. The “Untying-the-Apron-Strings” Family
Children begin to leave home; emotional shifts occur.
Keys:
- Release them with grace.
- Accept the reality of aging.
- See your legacy beyond just children.
7. The “Empty-Nest” Family
Children are gone; marriage is refocused.
Keys:
- Reinvest in your spouse.
- Become a godly in-law.
- Mentor the next generation.
- Support your own aging parents.
8. The “Three-Generation” Family
Grandparents, parents, and grandchildren may live or interact closely.
Keys:
- Live in the present, not in regret.
- Encourage and empower the younger generation.
- Be a blessing, not a burden.
Each stage of family life comes with its unique blessings and challenges. What matters is our ability to discern the season and apply biblical wisdom, love, and faith accordingly.
Let this message be a blessing to every believer—whether you’re trusting God for a child, raising adopted or biological children, or walking through the seasons of family life. God is faithful, and His grace is sufficient.