HEALTHY MARRIAGE AND FAMILY LIFE: Money And Our Homes

Two Christian couples were blessed with joyful marriages, but they handled money in very different ways. The first couple allowed money to become a source of secrecy and division. The husband later discovered that his wife had built a house without his knowledge or agreement. This broke the trust between them, and their once-happy marriage began to suffer serious strain.

On the other hand, the second couple operated in unity. They sat down prayerfully and discussed how to manage their finances. They agreed that the husband’s income would be used to run the home, while the wife’s income would be saved toward building their future house. Today, that couple lives peacefully in their own home. All their children are married, and peace and unity reign in their family.

Beloved, when couples do not plan their finances together, they are giving room to the enemy to sow seeds of discord. Financial matters must be handled prayerfully, wisely, and with maturity. The Word of God says, “Can two walk together, except they be agreed?” (Amos 3:3)

Why Financial Unity Is Vital

Research shows that money ranks among the top reasons marriages break apart:

Financial crisis – 50%
Sexual issues – 40%
Interference from in-laws – 7%
Other issues – 3%

A home will not be spiritually or emotionally healthy if money matters are not handled with wisdom, openness, and prayer. Many families have suffered because of financial ignorance. Such lack has opened doors to temptation, adultery, separation, and even divorce.

Sadly, even among ministers, we have seen painful examples—wives running off with wealthy church members, and pastors abandoning their wives to marry so-called “cash madams.” These things ought not to be so in the Body of Christ. Weeping may endure for a night, but it will endure much longer when finances are not properly planned.

A. SCRIPTURAL FOUNDATION FOR KINGDOM FAMILY FINANCE

📖 Genesis 3:19; 2 Thessalonians 3:10; 1 Timothy 5:8; Genesis 30:30; Job 21–28

Money plays a significant role in any home. Kingdom family finance involves how a family earns and spends money according to biblical principles.

Every godly family should strive toward the following:

Be financially free and not enslaved by debt.
Ensure basic needs (food, clothing, shelter) are met.
Avoid borrowing and live within God’s provision.
Ensure income is greater than expenses.
Husband and wife should jointly contribute to and manage the family budget.
Never allow money to divide what God has joined together (Mark 10:9).
Be open, honest, and transparent about money matters.

Many promising marriages have failed because of poor money management. Lack of financial planning, prayer, and realistic expectations allows the devil to gain a foothold. This leads to stress, nagging, infidelity, bitterness, divorce, and even untimely death.

B. TYPES OF COUPLES IN FINANCIAL BEHAVIOR

📖 Luke 14:28-30; Psalm 62:10

Through godly observation and ministry experience, we identify seven categories of couples based on how they handle money:

1. Silver Spoon Couples

Both come from wealthy backgrounds.
Enter marriage financially strong, but often with pride and no humility.
They lack tolerance, which leads to strife and often ends in divorce.

2. Providence Couples

They rely solely on faith but neglect planning and work.
Family size increases without income to support it.
No job, no business, and ministry is small.
Financial burdens are shifted to God and church members.
Holy, but always hungry — spiritually sound but financially stranded.

3. Struggling Couples

No steady income or job.
Negative mindset and no savings.
Expenses outweigh income.
One spouse may be jobless.
Prayerful but unproductive; this leads to repeated crises.

4. Cash Husband

The husband has wealth but controls and dominates everything.
Refuses joint financial decisions.
Provides financially but emotionally absent — no love or intimacy.
Wife is financially dependent and emotionally frustrated.

5. Wife-Husband Couple

The wife is the breadwinner and provider.
She dominates the home and makes secret financial moves.
Submitting to the husband becomes hard for her.
Husband often reacts by seeking emotional satisfaction elsewhere.

6. Spendthrift Couple

They waste financial opportunities.
No budget, no savings, and no giving to God’s work.
Spend on luxuries, competing with others.
Stingy toward God, generous toward vanity.
End up in sorrow and regret.

7. Strategic Couple (The Kingdom Standard)

United in purpose, prayer, planning, and patience.
They work hand-in-hand toward financial freedom.
Invest time in prayer, develop their skills, and manage their resources wisely.
They save, sow into the Kingdom, and wait in faith.

✅ Only this couple (No. 7) walks in financial health and Kingdom prosperity.

C. ROOTS OF FINANCIAL CRISIS IN MINISTERS’ HOMES

📖 Psalm 144:12-14

Many ministers’ families are under financial pressure due to the following reasons:

Lack of productive employment.
Unplanned family size.
Rushing into full-time ministry prematurely.
Dependence on only one source of income.
No clear financial structure or plan.
Generational poverty and inherited limitations.
Lack of creativity and entrepreneurial thinking.
Ignorance about financial principles.
Demonic manipulation and spiritual attacks.
Ancestral curses or unresolved spiritual baggage.
Mixing personal and ministry finances.
Denominational beliefs that promote poverty as holiness.

Even though they serve God with all their hearts, many leaders have not yet experienced financial rest because these issues have not been dealt with in their lives and ministries.

D. BIBLICAL PRINCIPLES FOR HANDLING FAMILY FINANCES

📖 Job 36:11

God wants His servants to be spiritually sound and financially stable. A Christian family should not be “pure but poor,” or “devout but destitute.” To enjoy God’s provision, these steps should be embraced:

Don’t rely solely on offerings and tithes to survive.
Repent of past money-related mistakes or dishonesty.
Sit together as husband and wife to discuss your current financial situation.
Money should not divide couples — you are one flesh.
Practice transparency and openness in all financial dealings.
Avoid suspicious spending or hidden transactions.
Create multiple streams of income (work, business, investment).
Agree on family size and raise children wisely.
Invest money wisely in long-term value, not short-term pleasure.
Let joy and peace in the home be based on Christ, not cash.
Avoid favoritism when supporting family members.
If the wife is the breadwinner, she must remain humble and respectful.
A joint account is helpful; individual accounts are also okay, with a family account to balance both.
Couples should give generously to God’s work in unity.
Trim unnecessary expenses and cut wasteful habits.

Final Word to Leaders and Believers

God has not called His people to a life of poverty, nor to an obsession with riches. He has called us to walk in wisdom, balance, and Kingdom stewardship. As Christian leaders, let us plan wisely, pray fervently, work diligently, and trust God for provision.

When finances are handled with faith, unity, and wisdom, the family becomes a stronghold of peace, joy, and godly success.