The best way to solve many conflicts and problems in the church is to confront them. Sometimes these problems are people. Apostle Paul displayed great courage in confronting Apostle Peter to resolve the Gentile and Jewish error.
‘’But when Peter was come to Antioch, I withstood him to the face, because he was to be blamed. For before that certain came from James, he did eat with the Gentiles: but when they were come, he withdrew and separated himself, fearing them which were of the circumcision. And the other Jews dissembled likewise with him; insomuch that Barnabas also was carried away with their dissimulation. But when I saw that they walked not uprightly according to the truth of the gospel, I said unto Peter before them all, if thou, being a Jew, livest after the manner of Gentiles, and not as do the Jews, why compellest thou the Gentiles to live as do the Jews?’’ – Galatians 2: 11-14.
Apostle Paul also confronted Philemon concerning the issue of Onesimus;
Wherefore, though I might be much bold in Christ to enjoin thee that which is convenient, yet for love’s sake I rather beseech thee, being such an one as Paul the aged, and now also a prisoner of Jesus Christ. I beseech thee for my son Onesimus, whom I have begotten in my bonds:’’ – Philemon 8-10
While courageous leaders will take time to confronts problems, fearful leaders will shrink from it.
To properly resolve conflicts, they must be confronted. The problem person must be addressed squarely and issues must not be swept under the carpet. However, it will take a courageous leader to do that, just like Apostle Paul.
1. FEARFUL LEADERS.
Fearful leaders are harmful to their churches or ministries because the are afraid to confront issues. The dance round problems, afraid to offend people and want the status quo to remain. The hate to take risks but love to pacify situations. The avoid the problems but will blame others in private.
The fearful leader is a person – pleaser and he is worried about what people will say. He therefore procrastinates from taking decisive actions until the small fire will become a raging fire. He is afraid to release people that are no longer making good contributions to the cause of God in the church. He would rather keep them and until they become the clog in the wheel of progress.
Fearful leaders fear decision making and constantly plead for patience until things will go bad beyond measure. The don’t change and will improve themselves and this will eventually lead to their inability to lead the church further.
Fearful leaders do not take risk but always play safe so as to cover their weaknesses. And these weaknesses will allow strives and ambitious people to gain foothold in the church.
2. COURAGEOUS LEADERS.
Clearly, I did not start as a courageous leader. I had lots of fears and delayed in taking decisions and confronting problematic persons. But over the years as I invest in my leadership ability, I gained some measure of change to handle conflicts and confronts the problematic persons. It is then our ministry moved forward. I can even recollect a meeting where I had to face my critics and those who wanted the ministry dead! I had to summon up courage to tell them the truth to their faces and asked them to step aside, if they cannot follow the culture of loyalty of the ministry. Since then we have been making progress.
Courageous leaders usually mask their fears and move on decisively. They are not afraid to confront issues head- on and face the problematic person squarely, though with lots of prayers and maturity.
Recommended Reading
Cultivating Effective Problem-Solving Techniques
Top Seven Lessons from the Life of Abigail
Christian Journey:Purpose Of Trials
3. HEALTHY WAYS TO CONFRONT PEOPLE.
- Pray through your own anger. Don’t let emotion lead you. Wait until you can be objective and put issues in proper perspective.
- Initiate the contact. Don’t wait for the other person. God calls us to make things right.
- Begin with affirmation. Encourage first, then receive permission to talk candidly
- Admit you have a problem. Don’t it is other person’s problem; admit you are struggling.
- Bring up the issue. explain you don’t understand what happened. Aim to clarify.
- Let the person respond. After you lay out the issue, let the person speak from his or her angle.
- Narrow the focus. Identify and priorities the issues. Go after one change at a time.
- Establish forgiveness and repentance. if needed, don’t stop until change occurs.
- Compromise on opinions, not on principles. Be flexible with everything except the truth.
- Pray and affirm your love as you close. Never let the person doubt God’s love or yours