It is a fact that the marriage institution established by God is under serious threat today. Daily and constant bashing by Satan and the society have done incalculable damage to the marriage institution to the extent that 1.8 million divorce happened in China alone last year. The church that should bring change is not left out. In the last few years, more bishops, evangelists, pastors and preachers have had marriage crisis, separation and divorce more than any other time in history.
Strangely, large sections of the church are still criminally silent on the epidemic. Yes, we conduct more weddings in the church on weekends (80% of couples get married in the church) than before, but how many of those weddings turned out to become happy and healthy Christian homes?
A. SCRIPTURAL FOUNDATION- Gen. 1: 26-28; 2: 15-25; 5: 1-2
Marriage is the premeditated and calculated institution of God, designed to form a permanent union between one man and one woman as husband and wife, for life. It is the godly union of two people (male and female) in ma holy matrimony (John 2: 1-11) for the purpose of companionship (Ecc. 4: 9-12); helpmeet (Gen. 2:18,24) pleasure and enjoyment (Prov. 5:18,19; 1 Cor. 7:1-5) and procreation (Gen. 1:28; 9:1).
Facts of biblical marriage:
- Marriage is a responsibility that must be held in sacred trust
- Marriage is monogamy – a man and a woman, not polygamy.
- Marriage is a trinity – between God, the husband and wife.
- Marriage is not contract- but a covenant before God, between a man and a woman
- Marriage is not co- habitation but must have the consent of God and the parents
- Marriage is not to be endured but to be endured, if properly done
- Marriage is not punishment for men and endurance for women, if God is involved
- Every marriage is HATED by Satan and will use various things to ruin and destroy it
- Premarital and extramarital sex is frowned at by God in marriage
- Marriage is never intended for same sex; male to male or female to female.
- Divorce, separation, single parenthood, polygamy or bigamy are foreign to God’s intention in marriage.
The church is God’s family (Eph. 3: 17-18) and he intended it to be populated by small units of strong, happy and healthy marriages. Once the marriage is strong, it leads to strong families and strong churches.
B. HEALTHY AND HAPPY HOMES IN THE CHURCH – Luke 1:5-7, 57-69
Not only must we have scriptural marriages, we must go on to have healthy and happy homes in the church. Of course, not many marriages end up as holy, happy and healthy homes. Healthy homes are not perfect homes, but they display the following traits:
- Healthy homes are Christians homes that have its foundation in the will of God and right choice after intensive prayers
- Healthy homes are where Jesus is Lord and he is worshipped in spirit and truth by both partners
- A healthy home is where the husband is kind, loving, compassionate, God- fearing and faithful to the wife. Also, a good father to the children. A Joseph generation husband.
- A healthy home is where the wife is a devoted, submissive, faithful, godly wife to the husband and a great mother to the children
- A healthy home is where the children are brought up in the fear and admonition of the lord through prayers, teachings, instructions, good examples and joint efforts.
- A healthy home is where the couple are united in love, ready to make the home a haven of peace on earth. They face their problems together and forge ahead
- A healthy home is built on trust, not rumor, third party and intruder is allowed to infiltrate. Couples are determined to swim and sink together.
- A healthy home is built on tough love. Tough love will not give up on the other, Inspite of disappointments, hurts, mistakes and failures. Tough love adjust to each other and sacrifice for the peace of the home.
It takes so much sacrifice, give and take spirit, determination and patience to build a truly happy and healthy home. It’s a tough call, but that is what God wants from every couple. Healthy homes are the backbone of the church; God’s habitation on earth. It’s the high school of learning where morals are taught, characters are shaped and destinies are moulded. Without such healthy homes, nations, societies and the church will suffer in many ways.
C. WHY MARRIAGES ARE NOT HAPPY AND HEALTHY IN THE CHURCH
Today, lots of people with marital crisis, separations, single parents and divorcees are in the church. Polygamist, gay lifestyle and people with different sexual orientations are sitting in many pews. Lots of marriages are under stress and homes are breaking up at an epidemic proportion. What led into all these?
- Poor marriage and home example by pastors and church leaders
- Many weddings but few emphasis on healthy homes
- Lack of sound teaching on how to know God’s will and chose right
- Separation, divorce and re- marriage are being encouraged by our silence
- Pre-marital sex is being subtly allowed and encourage in churches.
- Choosing by sight, beauty, class, status and tribe are subtly allowed.
- Pre-marital and post- marital counseling sessions are few and shallow
- Preachings and programmes hardly scratch or talk about healthy homes most times.
Unless we change from these ways, the church will keep on ruining homes, knowingly or unknowingly.
Recommended Reading
How To Handle Gifted And Anointed People
Ten Ways To Serve God With Your Talents
Preparing To Go Into Marriage…For Singles
D. HOW TO HAVE HAPPY AND HEALTHY HOMES IN THE CHURCH.
The good news is that God longs to bless and heal our marriages, because marriage is close to the heart of God and he is deeply involved in it. Pastors and ministry leaders can help stem the tide of the divorce epidemic by making the church a safe place couples can run to for hope, healing and restoration. Taking a stand for healthy marriages means becoming a voice to educate, encourage and empower couples in our churches and communities. How?
- Have a growing and healthy marriage- your marriage as a leader speaks volumes.
- Reaffirm marriage as a covenant, not a contract, to your people
- Marriage teachings on a regular basis
- Institute a marriage council to form policies, procedures of marriage in your church and to counsel couples.
- Preach on marriage, family and sexuality
- Talk about benefits love and peace in homes
- Train and equip an army of marriage couples
- Fight against co- habitation and pre- marital sex
- Celebrate old couples and God factor on marriages
- Develop a strategy for troubled marriages and how to help those struggling.
We know that marriage coaching and mentoring make a huge difference and help prevent divorce. As you prayerfully allow the holy spirit to guide you in taking these steps, you will encourage more happy and healthy marriages in the church. Many marriages are hurting, your church must help.