One of the clearest signs that a local assembly is in spiritual decline or is not moving forward in God’s divine purpose is when kingdom men—spiritually mature, God-fearing, and purpose-driven men—are few and far between in the church. When the congregation consists mostly of women and children, while strong, Spirit-led men are absent, something vital is missing. This is a red flag that calls for urgent attention in the Body of Christ.
A Troubling Reality
Surveys and observations across many churches have confirmed the following disturbing trends:
- Few men are actively attending and participating.
- Many men present are spiritually weak or disengaged.
- Most churches are filled with elderly men rather than younger, vibrant ones.
- Women often hold more visible influence and responsibility in church affairs.
This imbalance is not a healthy sign for the church. Over time, it leads to stagnation and decline. Without true spiritual fathers and kingdom warriors, many congregations begin to look more like women’s fellowships where a few men are merely present as formality or titleholders.
A. KINGDOM MEN ARE THE BACKBONE OF THE CHURCH
(Mark 3:13–19; 1 Cor. 16:13; 1 Sam. 16:17–18; 1 Tim. 2:8; John 1:6)
Jesus deliberately chose twelve men to be His disciples. He did this not to exclude women, but because He understood the strategic role that godly, spiritually disciplined men play in building the Kingdom of God. From creation, God appointed man to lead (Gen. 2:15), and though women are essential partners in ministry, the structure and forward motion of the church needs masculine strength—spiritually and emotionally.
Why Kingdom Men Matter:
- The spiritual backbone of every church is found in real men—men of Godly conviction and discipline.
- Faithful and loyal men propel the church into her destiny.
- Carnal, unfaithful, or religious men without depth pull the church backward.
- The traits of boldness, sacrificial leadership, courage, and vision that godly men bring are essential for Kingdom advancement.
- While the nurturing, celebrating, and contented nature of women is vital, if it becomes the dominant spirit, the church may lose momentum and drive.
Even false religions understand this and often build their systems on male dominance, discipline, and sacrificial commitment. If we in the Body of Christ fail to raise real men of God, we will continue to see a weakening of our congregations.
B. TWELVE FACTORS THAT DRIVE MEN AWAY FROM CHURCHES
Many local assemblies today are bleeding men—not because men hate God or don’t want to serve—but because of some common mistakes we’ve made in church leadership and culture. These are the reasons many men quietly walk away:
- Poor Handling and Understanding of Men
Many pastors are not trained to handle men’s unique make-up—men who carry vision, zeal, and purpose. Some leaders find them “difficult” or “intimidating,” and instead of engaging them, they silently push them out. - No Ministry Role or Responsibility
When men have no meaningful assignments in church beyond ushering or sitting as elders, they begin to feel idle and irrelevant. Men are builders—they need purpose and space to function in the church. - Settled and Comfortable Atmosphere
When a church is no longer pioneering, pushing boundaries, or growing, younger and forward-thinking men will leave. Men are drawn to mission, not maintenance. - Overemphasis on Finances
Constant financial demands, endless fundraising, and targeting men for contributions can become offensive and burdensome. Some men withdraw entirely because they feel financially exploited. - Loss of Vision and Purpose
When the church leadership seems to have no Kingdom agenda, no clear direction, and no impact, men looking for purpose will find that church uninspiring and quietly disengage. - Lack of Strong Role Models
Men need other godly men to look up to. When church leadership is weak, carnal, or embroiled in scandal, young men lose hope. They need fathers, not just preachers. - Feminization of the Church Culture
When the church atmosphere is dominated by emotionalism, ceremonies, and celebration without depth, strong men feel out of place. Masculine spirituality thrives on challenge, discipline, and impact—not just entertainment. - Lack of Mentorship and Discipleship
If a church is not discipling and equipping its men both spiritually and practically, they’ll eventually turn to secular spaces (clubs, associations, or online groups) where they feel more understood and engaged. - Shallow Evangelism Approaches
Quick, emotional altar calls and “soft” gospel appeals might work for some, but men need a deep, confrontational, truth-based gospel that demands repentance, transformation, and responsibility. - Endless, Unproductive Meetings
Most men are action-oriented. Meetings that go on forever without clear purpose, outcomes, or relevance to life will cause men to lose interest. - Lack of Inclusion and Voice
If men don’t feel like their ideas, vision, or input matters, they will go where they are valued. Men want to build; give them tools, not just a seat. - Time Wastage
Excessive time in services, unnecessary prolonging of programs, and disregard for order can drive focused, time-conscious men away. Men want to invest their time, not waste it.
Until these issues are addressed with spiritual maturity and intentionality, the church will continue to struggle with male disengagement.
C. HOW TO ATTRACT KINGDOM MEN BACK TO CHURCH
The church must return to the vision of discipling men as Christ did—calling them into responsibility, training them for ministry, and releasing them into leadership.
Recommended Reading
Internal Strife That Renders Churches Powerless
Top Ten Lessons from the Life of Job
PRODUCTIVITY: The Master Key of Abundance
Ten Practical Steps to Draw Men:
- Be an Example
Let your life and ministry demonstrate the character of a godly man—strong, loving, disciplined, and Christ-like. - Repent from Neglect
Acknowledge where your leadership or church may have ignored or underinvested in men and ask the Lord to give you new wisdom. - Study the Male Psyche
Learn how men think, grow, and serve. Understanding their God-given design helps to minister effectively to them. - Strengthen Leadership Style
Shift from soft leadership to courageous, Spirit-led leadership that respects and invites masculine engagement. - Preach Discipleship with Intention
Teach the importance of reaching, raising, and releasing men to fulfill God’s Kingdom agenda. - Host Men-Focused Gatherings
Organize men’s summits, men’s breakfasts, or specialized services that are tailored to men’s spiritual and practical growth. - Empower Male Contribution
Encourage ideas, feedback, and creative input from men in the congregation. Value what they carry. - Assign Real Tasks to Men
Don’t bench men—give them ministry responsibilities that align with their skills, passions, and calling. - Form Discipleship Cells for Men
Start small groups, mentorship circles, or accountability fellowships focused on male spiritual development. - Preach to Men’s Hearts
Speak truth boldly. Address issues like fatherhood, work, purpose, sexual purity, leadership, and legacy directly from the Word.
THE FUTURE IS MALE AND FEMALE—TOGETHER IN BALANCE
There is no scriptural reason why any local church should not be filled with young, vibrant, spiritually strong, and Holy Spirit-empowered men alongside women. A church that nurtures such men is healthy, has a strong backbone, and is positioned for long-term Kingdom expansion.
Let’s rebuild our churches with both men and women in their God-ordained places, moving together in unity to fulfill the Great Commission.