DEVELOPING PROBLEM – SOLVING SKILLS: Confronting And Comforting People In Church

A certain man in the church came to a pastor recently because his daughter was married to a man who was caught in adultery. The couple went to another church in town and the father had contacted their pastor to see if he would confront his son- in- law on this obvious sin. The pastor refused as he did not see it as his duty. Not his duty? It is however not surprising that more and more church leaders are taking the middle road and are unwilling to confront people who are living in open sins in the church.

Why? Do we lack the courage? Or we are simply ignoring the biblical mandate to confront people in sin and comfort those in pain in the church? Many times, in my role as a pastor and leader, I have had had to confront people and have had meetings in the church and ministry. While it is not palatable, yet they are very necessary as a leader if the church is to remain healthy.

A. BIBLICAL FOUNDATION – Micah 3: 8; Isaiah 58: 1-2; Ezek. 3: 17-20; I Tim. 5:20.

It is the scriptural responsibility of ministers to confront sin in the lives of the people and in the church.

#. God wants people that are free from sin and darkness – I Pet. 2:9

#. God wants people that are holy within and without – Titus 2: 11-14

#. Until sin is confronted, people will cling to it.

#. Preachers that cares and whitewash it will pollute the church

#. The blood of the people will be required at the hand of those ministers that fail to confronts evils – Ezek. 3: 18-20

#. There is need to confront in love without prejudice.

#. When sin is tolerated in one, it encourages others to sin.

When we judge sin in our lives and in the church, then God will not judge us. But when we tolerate, keep mute and allow sins to fester in the body of Christ, God himself will judge.

B. KINDS OF PEOPLE IN THE CHURCH TODAY.

A cursory look at many churches today will reveal that church members display these kinds of traits.

1. Goats – dirty, immoral, odouric, stubborn and rebellious people.
2. Caterpillars – destructive, backstabbing, consumers and clog in the wheel of progress.
3. Chameleon – hypocritical, sly, twisting and double – living people.
4. Garbage collector – tale bearer, slanderer and rumor mongers
5. Thumb suckers – immature, carnal and wayward Christian who is always complaining to others.
6. The users – taking from God and using the church to better their lot but are not committed to God or spiritual things.
7. Powerbrokers – cliques and dominating associates. They dictate what should happen in the church.
8. Volcanoes – those who erupts and gets angry when the word of God touches their lives and stop coming to church.
9. Sunshine – genuine Christians and disciples of the lord who are truly devoted to God and his church.

You can see that the percentage of those who are real (sunshine) are very minute. It is important that we bring them to the lord through the instrument of confronting and comforting them.

C. KEYS AND METHODS OF CONFRONTING PEOPLE – Gal. 6: 1-2.

1. You must confront people who are rebellious against God and authority. Those with sudden prosperity or wealth; live in adultery; divisive behaviour; and false and heretic teaching; and unrepentant of their sins.
2. People living in sin can be confronted personally, with two elders in the church or through the undiluted preaching of the word of God. In confronting:
3. You address issues, not personality.
4. You do it without bitterness and anger.
5. You do it with the mind to restore the offender
6. You make the scripture very clear.
7. You emphasize love for the person, but loyalty to the scripture
8. You also comfort people with the word of God, caring heart and attention to welfare. People in pain, sorrow, bereavement, difficulties and challenges of life must find comfort in the lord through his word, spirit, prayers and care of the church – Isaiah 40: 1-2.

The evils you don’t confront in the church are the evils that will overwhelm that church. When sin and evil are allowed to thrive and preachers only dance round them, the spirit of God will withdraw his presence – I Sam. 2: 22-24.

Recommended Reading
Leadership Conflict And Crisis In Ministry
Top Ten Lessons from the Life of Lot
Christian Journey:Purpose Of Trials

HOW TO WISELY CONFRONT AND COMFORT PEOPLE IN THE CHURCH – Jer. 6: 13-14

It is quite sad that most preachers are not striking the necessary balance in their churches today. It’s either they are only comforting the people and not confronting them or vice versa. However, making a major difference in the lives of the people demands that we must hold both in constant tension.

1. Learn, live and loan the truth – Ezra 7: 10
2. Practice what you preach – Acts 1:1
3. Have courage to speak against injustice, sins and evils of people – Acts 5: 1-5
4. Don’t give people false hope in sin – Jer. 6: 13-14
5. Fight sin in the life of the people through prayers, preaching, counselling and emphasis
6. Discipline sinful and unrepentant people.
7. Remove sinful people from position, until they show fruits of repentance.
8. Periodically bring message of hope, encouragement, healing and power of the God.
9. Don’t water down the truth for anything and don’t sell your anointing on the altar of money or frame.

Be more loyal to the word of God and your chief- shepherd than to anybody else. Determine not to have the blood of anybody in your hand. God will only show up in churches where there are contrition, repentance and spiritual healthiness – Acts 20: 26-27. Remember, the greatest evil is not the evil men that are doing evil, but the greatest evil is the righteous man refuses to confront those who are doing evil.

‘’we should be more concerned with reaching the lost than pampering the saved’’ – David Mc Gee

‘’if you have not chosen the kingdom of God first, it will in the end make no difference what you have chosen instead’’ – William Law

‘’when the devil is called the god of this world, it is not because he made it, but because we serve him with our worldliness’’ – Symeon.