EFFECTIVE MEN, WOMEN & YOUTH MINISTRIES: POWER OF MEN IN CHURCH TRANSFORMATION

I strongly believe that one of the areas the church has lost her transformational edge in the society is our utter neglect of men. The average church has developed a culture of driving men away. The gospel today is gospel of the women. Men are bored with church and see the average church as a women and children place. Therefore, in the average church, women are much more than men.

There are much more ministries to women in the church than to men. It is always ratio 10 to 2. Whenever large numbers of Christians gather, men are never in majority. During the week, more women come to church than men. Sometimes in the leadership, only the pastor is a male and majority of the church leaders are women. Women are the devoted ones who build their lives around their commitments to Christ and His church. While some men still attend church, yet majority of them are born in church. How can the church transform the society without manly men? “Modern churches are women’s clubs with a few male officers”.

A. Biblical Foundation – Mark 3:13- 19; John 1:6.

Jesus ministered to women and children. He loved them, but He was careful enough to choose strong men as His disciples. Jesus’ strong leadership, blunt honesty and bold actions mesmerized the men. The 1st century church was a magnet for men too. They came in thousands.

Jesus built His church on the twelve male disciples.
The disciples magnetized men in thousands.
Down the ages, men have carried the banner of faith.
Revivals of the past centuries transformed large numbers of men.
Men are the pillars and sustainers of the church.
Men fought, risked and broke barriers for the gospel.
Men are the soul of any church.

While women are the beauty of the church, children the future, manly men are the pillars. Without men, the church is dead! If the men are dead, the church is dead. You cannot have a thriving church without a core of men who are true disciples of Christ.

B. The Church and Men Today

Today’s church doesn’t mesmerize men, rather it repels them. Check out these hard facts:

Only 35% of men attends church weekly in the U.S
Only 5% of men attends church weekly in Europe
Only 37% of men attends church in Africa Women comprised more than 60% of every congregation.
1 out of 5 women come to church without their husbands.
There are more single women in the church than single male.
2/3 of church work force are women.

While the church is having problem attracting men, Islam, Judaism, Buddhism and Hinduism attract much more men. In fact they are male dominated religions; while Christianity is female dominated. While it is good to focus on women and children, however the danger is that the children will grow up and abandon the church because they don’t see their fathers in church. I’m afraid our grandchildren will worship in mosque if we don’t reverse the trend! Men are to lead their family to church, not children bringing their fathers!

C. The Church Needs Men And Men Needs The Church

The church is good for men and when they avoid it, they suffer for it. Men are more likely to be arrested than women, die violently, commit and be victims of crimes, go to jail, be addicted and depressed. They also die more often on the job, have more heart attacks, commit suicide in greater numbers, and live shorter and poorer than women. If men want to avoid these pathologies, they must go to the church.

1. Men that go to church are more satisfied with life.

2. Men that go to church have more marriage stability.

3. Men that go to church gets out of poverty and penury.

4. Men that go to church have greater happiness and self-esteem.

5. Men that go to church become better husbands and fathers.

6. Youngsters with religious fathers grow up more balanced and responsible.

Yes, men needs the church, but does the church needs men? Absolutely yes! If the church is to reach its maximum potential, men must find their places in God’s economy. If we want to change the world, we must focus on men. The church must go back to winning men in significant numbers.

D. How Men’s Gifts Promote Church Health

Men make things happen. Men expand the church and its influence in the world. Check these out:

1. Men’s Orientation Towards Risk Promotes Church Health. Women want safety, but men want risk. We need men to lead us to greater adventure.

2. Men’s Expansionist Outlook Promotes Church Health. When male energy is absent, creation does not happen, either in the human soul or in the world.

3. Men’s focus on the Outside World Promotes Church Health. Men are always building things, creating things and subduing the earth. Without the masculing spirit the church will turn inward.

4. Men’s Pragmatism Brings Innovation to the Church. Men are realistic and wants to improve things. They are thinkers.

5. Men Brings Strength to the Church. You can derive spirituality from women in the church, but you get strength from the men-Edwin Louis Cole.

6. Men Bring Money to the Church. Any church could triple her contributions by engaging men.

7. Godly Men Attract Women. Without dynamic, life-giving men, a church will eventually lose its women as well, especially the younger ones.

8. Men Bring Their Families to the Church. In the Bible, fathers led their children to the church, not the other way round. Kids that are taken to the church by mothers but not fathers are harder to keep in church.

E. What Drives Men Away From Churches

What is it about modern Christianity that is driving men away? What are the barriers that discourage and demoralize men from coming to church?

Culture of feminism in churches Everything is built around relationships, cooperation and women prominence.
Comfortability and contentment – No risk, just safety and security oriented.
No place and task for the men Only two tasks – ushers or elders / preachers.
No adventure, change and outreach- Sweet, sentimental and nice approach repels men.
No challenge to dare No risk of new things, no world to conquer. Challenge is men’s love language.
No competitive environment To be the best you can be for the Lord.
No discipleship No effort to disciple men in small group settings.
No programme for men Only breakfast seminar or building committee contribution!
No high standard to aim at – Success, excellence, heroism and reward attracts men.
No room for expression – Subjugation of gifts, ministries and callings.

When a church is built around the women that showed up and the culture values safety over risk, stability over change, preservation over expansion, predictability over adventure, sweetness over strength, inreach over outreach, then the men will stay away for good. God made men for adventure, achievement and challenge, and if they can’t find those things in your church, they are going to find them somewhere else.

F. How To Magnetize Men To Your Church

Sincerely, I am not advocating for a male- dominated church, nor a situation where men are kings and women are pawns in the chessboard of life. That is unbiblical and doesn’t create spiritually matured men. The answer is balanced approach: teachings, practices and opportunities that allow for both masculine and feminine spirit to thrive in church.

1. Repent of your neglect of men in the church.

2. Study, research and learn all you could about men.

3. Improve your leadership to welcome and appreciate the masculine spirit in the church.

4. Teach and emphasise the need for men in the church.

5. Specialized meetings to attract and celebrate men.

6. Welcome the ideas, suggestion and creative approach of men.

7. Create more roles and tasks for men in the church.

8. Begin to disciple men in groups in your church.

9. Pursue vision, growth, excellence, outreach and expansion in the church.

10. Dream big, stick out your neck and seek to challenge everyone to great things.

Men want reality, not mere ritual. How realistic you are in every area of your church will determine whether you will keep on attracting men or repelling them.