Marriage is a divine covenant, far more sacred than the ceremony of a wedding. A wedding lasts for a day, but marriage is meant to last for a lifetime. Many people will gather to help you plan a wedding, but only the husband and wife will live out the reality of the marriage covenant. And truthfully, there will always be one issue, trial, or temptation after another challenging the union.
Even if you were to marry someone like Jesus—perfect in all His ways—challenges would still come, because trials are part of the human experience. Many Christian homes are under pressure today, not because marriage is evil, but because couples enter into it without preparing for spiritual and natural challenges. That’s why it is dangerous for boys and girls—immature people—to rush into marriage. They lack the spiritual stamina and emotional maturity to face marital storms.
Let’s be honest: marriage is not always a smooth ride. It’s not a bed of roses, and the earlier we prepare our hearts with God’s wisdom and grace, the better. Every believer should understand these three key truths about marriage:
- Problems will come. No marriage is exempt.
- You can’t run away from them. Escaping doesn’t solve anything.
- Almost all problems can be solved—with God’s help and our willingness to cooperate with His Spirit.
“Following the path of least resistance makes rivers—and lives—crooked.”
If you don’t face your challenges in marriage, they will rise up and overwhelm you.
A. SCRIPTURAL REALITY – Luke 1:5–14, 24–35
Many biblical couples faced serious troubles in their homes:
- Zacharias and Elizabeth struggled with childlessness.
- Abraham and Sarah endured barrenness (Genesis 15:1–2).
- Moses had difficulty with his wife (Exodus 18:2, 7–8).
- Isaac had a wife who schemed and caused division in the home.
- Jacob had violent and sinful children who caused him grief.
- Prophet Samuel had problems with his disobedient children.
- David had family troubles and crises on every side.
- Abigail was married to a foolish and difficult man, Nabal (1 Samuel 25:14–32).
Challenging and troubled marriages are marked by negative experiences and unexpected situations that arise over time. These may come without warning and cause pain, confusion, and division.
Let’s understand this:
- Some marriages will face more challenges than others.
- No marriage is completely free from trials—even godly ones.
- Some problems come from our own mistakes, others from demonic attacks, human weaknesses, or generational curses.
- If handled with wisdom and prayer, these challenges can lead to growth, healing, and deeper love.
- Quitting or giving up too early can bring lasting consequences.
Troubles don’t respect anyone. Pastors, church leaders, committed Christians, and even unbelievers experience them. The wealthy and the poor alike are affected. Marriage challenges cut across all statuses.
B. TYPES OF CHALLENGES IN MARRIAGE – 1 Corinthians 7:28
It’s not a sin to admit that some marriages—even in the Body of Christ—are struggling. I know many ministers who silently face these storms. Every marriage has its unique structure and therefore will face peculiar trials.
The 7 Common Seasons of Marriage:
- Fervent love stage – Deep affection and connection.
- Reality stage – Differences start becoming visible.
- Stress stage – Pressures from life and work increase.
- Regret stage – Disappointments set in.
- Withdrawal stage – Emotional distancing happens.
- Total sacrifice stage – Choosing to love despite pain.
- Genuine love stage – True, matured, God-anchored love emerges.
Common Marital Challenges Include:
- Incompatibility – Lack of understanding and unwillingness to adjust.
- Childlessness – Miscarriages, low sperm count, or early infant deaths.
- Financial difficulties – Job loss, small income, heavy expenses.
- Character flaws – Pride, anger, laziness, unforgiveness, gossip, stubbornness, bad hygiene, uncontrolled speech.
- Cultural conflicts – Treating a spouse like property, not a partner.
- Career pressures – Long distance, late nights, frequent travel.
- Addictions – Alcohol, smoking, or other ungodly habits.
- Sexual immorality – Affairs, pornography, incest, secret relationships.
- Domestic abuse – Physical violence, threats, neglect, irresponsibility.
- Sexual issues – Lack of desire, over-desire, or imbalances.
- Family interference – Toxic in-laws, negative influence.
- Wayward children – Bringing disgrace and pain to the home.
- Health issues – Hidden diseases or newly discovered conditions.
- Early death – Leading to widowhood or single parenting.
- Demonic oppression – Witchcraft or generational curses.
- Jealousy over prosperity – Suspicion toward a wealthy spouse.
All these are real, and they continue to challenge even Spirit-filled homes. Coming from different backgrounds also brings its own set of struggles.
C. SIGNS OF TROUBLE IN MARRIAGE – Psalm 16:4
Every marriage may experience challenges, but it becomes troubled when those issues are mismanaged.
How do we know trouble has entered?
- Spouses lose self-control and become disorganized.
- There’s frequent crying, shouting, and emotional breakdowns.
- One or both partners become moody and withdrawn.
- Panic sets in—rushing around for help, but with no direction.
- Taking ungodly advice from friends, family, or social media.
- Constant blame game, bitterness, grudges, and malice.
- Verbal or physical fights, intentional punishments.
- Seeking help from herbalists, cults, or false prophets.
- Marital separation, leaving the house, or full-blown divorce.
Recommended Reading
Building A Healthy Home In Ministry
Cultivating Deep Roots In God
How To Honour And Love Your Wife
If you don’t allow your challenges to refine you, they will defile you.
If you magnify your problems more than God, they will swallow you.
Many Christian marriages aren’t destroyed by the presence of challenges, but by how those challenges are handled.
D. HOW TO FACE AND CONQUER MARITAL CHALLENGES
To overcome, you must build a strong mindset and walk in wisdom. Be spiritually equipped to face the giants in your marriage.
Keys to Victory:
- Stay united – Don’t allow problems to separate you emotionally or spiritually.
- Take every issue to God in fervent prayer—together.
- Ignore ungodly advice – Don’t rely on unspiritual relatives or false prophets.
- Pursue marriage mentorship – Seek help from godly, mature Christian couples.
- Identify the root cause – Avoid vague accusations; be specific.
- Handle the issues with maturity – Avoid self-pity and emotional outbursts.
- Surrender the marriage to God – Invite His intervention continually.
- Show gentleness and wisdom – Don’t allow bitterness or resentment.
- Tame your tongue and actions – Let your words be seasoned with grace.
- Stay in your home – Running away gives room for Satan to interfere.
- Apply the 3Ps: Prayer, Patience, and Perseverance.
- Neglecting your issues will empower them to rule over you.
Finally, let your problems become your promotion. Let your trials become your testimonies. Turn your crisis into a classroom and your difficulties into divine stepping stones.
Romans 8:28 – “All things work together for good to them that love God…”