The vision of having both a healthy home and a thriving ministry has become like a distant dream for many couples today. Sadly, we hear of increasing cases where couples involved in ministry are fighting, separating, or even hurting each other over ministry matters. Some are at loggerheads over who owns the church or ministry. Worse still, some are influenced by imbalanced teachings and poor examples from popular ministers, and their homes have descended into confusion and chaos.
But we believe that the Lord, through His Word and by His Spirit, will use this teaching to bring healing, order, and divine alignment to our homes and ministries in Jesus’ name.
A. SCRIPTURAL FOUNDATION FOR COUPLES IN MINISTRY
(Luke 1:5–6; Acts 18:2, 18, 26; Romans 16:3; 2 Timothy 4:19)
- Zacharias and Elizabeth were a priestly couple—both righteous and walking blameless before the Lord (Luke 1:5-6).
- Aquila and Priscilla were ministry partners who labored in the early Church and taught Apollos the way of God more perfectly (Acts 18:2, 26).
- William and Catherine Booth, founders of the Salvation Army, were godly examples of ministry partnership in modern Church history.
- God sometimes calls both husband and wife together into ministry as a team.
- In His sovereignty, God can anoint and use each spouse differently, according to His divine purpose.
- God can call the wife into ministry and expect the husband to be her spiritual covering and support.
- Likewise, God can call the husband, while the wife supports him wholeheartedly.
- The call upon one spouse does not automatically mean the other is called into pulpit ministry.
- Each person must receive their personal calling and divine assignment directly from the Lord.
- Husband and wife must support each other’s ministry, encouraging growth, impact, and spiritual success.
- Division between spouses makes ministry difficult and opens the door to the enemy.
- Couples must surrender each other to God, not trying to control or limit their spiritual journey.
- Envy and jealousy must not exist between ministry couples—we are co-laborers, not competitors.
These are balanced and scriptural principles. It takes spiritual maturity, humility, and understanding for couples to walk in this level of grace.
B. COMMON MISTAKES AND PROBLEMS AMONG MINISTRY COUPLES
I know of a couple who once loved each other dearly and were blessed with seven children. Later, they began a ministry together—one pastoring the headquarters and the other a branch in a foreign country. Unfortunately, due to unresolved conflict, they abandoned the ministry and left their children behind, unable to reconcile.
Here are some of the key mistakes we have seen among ministry couples:
- Husbands refusing to acknowledge the wife’s divine calling.
- Wives refusing to support the husband’s God-given assignment.
- Husbands taking over or controlling the wife’s ministry without a personal call.
- Wives ordaining husbands who are not called, and forcing them into church leadership.
- Husbands becoming jealous of their wife’s spiritual gifts or popularity.
- Wives neglecting marital responsibilities in the name of ministry.
- Husbands engaging in immoral relationships within the church.
- Husbands unlawfully taking over the wife’s God-given ministry.
- Wives sowing rebellion in the children against their father.
- Wives being imposed on the church without the necessary grace or capacity.
- Husbands being made General Overseer or Chairman when spiritually unqualified.
- Family arguments over church funds, leadership roles, or ministry properties.
- Running the church as a family business and making key decisions in the bedroom.
These are dangerous errors that grieve the Holy Spirit and often result in the collapse of both home and ministry.
Recommended Reading
Building A Healthy Home In Ministry
Developing The Fruits of the Spirit
30 Reasons Why People Marry Wrongly
C. DIVINE PILLARS FOR MINISTRY COUPLES
For couples to truly succeed in God’s work, they must build their lives and marriage on strong spiritual foundations. When these pillars are in place, they can move forward in peace—not in pieces.
- Personal Relationship with God
Nothing else works without this. Both husband and wife must have a deep, living, and growing relationship with the Lord. - Personal Growth and Maturity
Both partners must keep growing spiritually, mentally, and emotionally. Develop in wisdom, understanding, leadership, and interpersonal skills. - Personal Call and Assignment
Don’t assume a call because your spouse has one. Wait on the Lord to receive your own calling. Those who jump into ministry without a personal call risk satanic attack and discouragement—even death in some cases! - Marriage is Your First Ministry (Joshua 24:15)
Never allow ministry to destroy your home. If your marriage fails, your credibility as a minister is gone. Let your home be strong enough to withstand ministry pressure. - Mutual Trust
There is no room for suspicion or jealousy in ministry or marriage. Trust one another, or the devil will use distrust to destroy the work. - Release Your Spouse to God
If God chooses to give your spouse a unique grace, don’t hinder it. Support it. Don’t suffocate your partner’s destiny out of fear or pride. - Pray for One Another
What you can’t change in your spouse, God can—through your consistent and fervent intercession. - Be Each Other’s Cheerleader
Publicly and privately support one another. Help each other grow stronger in ministry. Be the number one encourager of your spouse. - Give No Room to the Devil (Ephesians 4:27)
Satan may not show up with horns, but he will use people’s words, wrong counsel, manipulative dreams, and even innocent events to sow discord. Guard your heart. - Train and Equip Each Other
Don’t grow spiritually while your spouse is left behind. Share the Word, pray together, communicate, and help your spouse grow to be a strong helper in ministry. - Surrender the Ministry to God
Don’t treat the ministry like your personal empire. Let the Lord lead. Delegate to others and train leaders who can serve faithfully. - Don’t Force Yourself on the Church
Let your leadership be Spirit-led and not man-imposed. Don’t assume authority where there is no anointing. - Walk in Transparency and Honesty
Be open with each other and with the church. Hidden agendas and secrets are tools the enemy uses to destroy ministries.
CONCLUSION:
If God has joined a couple together in marriage and in ministry, then He has also made provision for them to succeed—if they are willing to submit to His Word, His order, and the leading of the Holy Spirit. May our homes and ministries stand strong and bear eternal fruit, in Jesus’ name. Amen.