HEALTHY MARRIAGE AND FAMILY LIFE: Healthy Sexuality In The Christian Home

After financial issues, one of the most significant matters that can either bless or break a Christian home is sex and sexuality. Unfortunately, due to myths, taboos, and unbiblical teachings, many believers—including some church leaders—have developed negative or shame-filled attitudes toward sex. As a result, the subject is often avoided at home and in church. Meanwhile, we live in a world flooded with sexual content, and children, youth, and even adults in the body of Christ are being heavily influenced by worldly perspectives.

Sadly, we’ve heard of Christian marriages ending in separation or divorce due to sexual denial, excessive sexual demands, or sexual sin such as incest. To stop this growing trend, we must be properly taught and biblically informed about sex and sexuality within the home.

A. BIBLICAL FOUNDATIONS FOR SEXUALITY

Scriptures: Genesis 2:25; 4:1; Proverbs 5:15-23; Ecclesiastes 9:9; 1 Corinthians 7:1-5; Hebrews 13:4

Sexual intimacy is a holy act created by God. It involves the physical union between a man and his wife, specifically through intercourse (the penetration of the female organ by the male organ). In Scripture, sex is described using respectful expressions such as:

“He knew her” – Genesis 4:1
“Went in to her” – Genesis 16:4
“Uncover her nakedness” – Leviticus 18
“Touched her” – Proverbs 6:29
“Elkanah knew Hannah his wife” – 1 Samuel 1:19

These phrases show that sex was never meant to be vulgar but rather holy and sacred within the boundaries of marriage. Let’s outline the biblical truths about sex:

Sex was not created by the devil – It was designed by God.
Every living being has a sexual identity, including humans.
There is a natural desire for sex placed within humans by God.
Sex is one of the major reasons for marriage (1 Corinthians 7:2).
Sex is good, holy, pure, and beautiful—when done within the marriage covenant.
Sex strengthens the emotional and spiritual bond between husband and wife.
Sex is the God-ordained way to bring forth children.
Sex is natural, normal, and spiritual for married couples.
Sex can be a channel for impartation—of either blessings or curses, depending on how it is used.

God created us as both spiritual and sexual beings. One does not cancel the other. As believers, we should not feel guilty about enjoying sex in marriage. It is a sign that we are fully human and made in God’s image (Genesis 2:25).

B. SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP IN MARRIAGE

Scripture: 1 Corinthians 7:1-5

In Christian marriage, sex must be handled with love, wisdom, and mutual understanding. Here are biblical and practical guidelines for healthy marital intimacy:

Create an atmosphere of privacy—sexual activity must happen in private.
Maintain cleanliness—both husband and wife should keep their bodies clean and fresh.
Ensure mutual enjoyment—sex should be pleasurable for both partners.
Do not deny each other—sexual refusal opens doors for temptation.
Never use sex as a weapon—don’t withhold sex as punishment.
Husbands must never abuse or pervert their wives sexually.
Wives should not manipulate or place conditions on sex.
Avoid mocking or criticizing each other’s sexual ability—encourage and build up one another.
Understand sexual peaks—men often experience strong desires between ages 22-39; women from 24-60.
Adjust to each other’s unique sexual needs over time.
Learn proper techniques for intimacy—before, during, and after, so both partners experience fulfillment.
Pet names and schedules are acceptable—there’s nothing shameful in planning intimacy or expressing desire.
Exercise self-control—understand seasons of illness, menstruation, grief, stress, or spiritual consecration.

C. SEXUAL CHALLENGES IN CHRISTIAN MARRIAGES

Many Christian couples face sexual struggles, but often, these issues are hidden, unspoken, or mishandled. Common challenges include:

Sexual anxiety – such as erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, or low sperm count.
Addiction – including pornography, masturbation, or unnatural sexual practices (e.g., anal or oral sex driven by lust, not love).
Rape and incest – forcing sex on a spouse, molesting housemaids, or abusing children.
Hypersexuality – an uncontrollable need for sex, even daily, without consideration for one’s partner.

Tragically, these problems—if not addressed—lead to immoral and ungodly practices. Some families even face heartbreaking situations such as:

Parents exposing children to sexual activity (e.g., sex in the presence of children)
Incest between siblings
Pregnancy involving domestic staff (e.g., housemaids)
Infidelity within the household (e.g., wife sleeping with driver or boss, husband sleeping with wife’s sister or stepmother)

True-life story: A couple seeking a child and financial breakthrough took a wrong turn. The wife began sleeping with her boss, while the jobless husband slept with his wife’s younger sister. Tragically, HIV was transmitted between them, and eventually, all three died.
This is what happens when sexual perversion and immorality go unchecked.

D. HOW TO MAINTAIN SEXUAL HOLINESS IN THE HOME

Scripture: Proverbs 5:15-23

Sex will always be part of a Christian marriage. It is part of God’s plan. However, to keep the home pure and healthy, couples must follow God’s order:

Keep your sexual life private—do not expose your intimacy to children or outsiders.
Only have sex in private spaces—never in shared spaces or where others are present.
Avoid overcrowding—a one-room home where children sleep on the floor is dangerous. It exposes children to premature sexual curiosity.
Give boys and girls separate rooms from age 7 and above.
Teach your children about sex—both parents must educate them in age-appropriate ways.
Seek medical help for any physical sexual issue or dysfunction.
Talk to godly mentors or pastors about marital intimacy challenges—seek prayer, counsel, and wisdom.
Repent of any sexual sin—destroy and remove all pornography and immoral materials from your home.
Practice self-discipline—don’t become a slave to sexual urges.
Ask God for grace to remain sexually healthy, holy, and faithful.

CONCLUSION: PURSUE SEXUAL WHOLENESS

To be sexually whole means you are free from lust, fornication, adultery, incest, and pornography. It will take discipline, consistent prayer, and self-denial (1 Corinthians 9:27; Proverbs 7:26–27).

Make a firm decision today:
“I will be free. I will keep my home sexually healthy. I will not allow sexual sin to destroy my life, my spouse, or my children.”

Let your home reflect God’s holiness, even in sexual matters. Healthy sexuality in marriage is not just about pleasure—it’s about purity, purpose, and godly partnership.