HEALTHY MARRIAGE AND FAMILY LIFE: The Book Of Elders On Marriage

Marriage is a covenant relationship ordained by God—a holy union between a man and a woman, designed to reflect the love between Christ and His Church (Ephesians 5:25–32). While marriage is beautiful, it is also a journey filled with joy, sacrifice, laughter, patience, learning, and sometimes hardship. Every couple, no matter how mature or spiritual, needs wisdom to navigate married life.

The Book Of Elders On Marriage

This collection of thoughts—some humorous, some deep, some practical—is like sitting at the feet of elders who’ve walked the path ahead of us. Though many of these quotes come from different walks of life, they point to one truth: marriage requires daily investment, spiritual commitment, and a heart full of grace.

Let the words shared in this book stir your heart, challenge your mindset, bring laughter to your soul, and most importantly, remind you that marriage is God’s tool for shaping us into the image of Christ. As you read, allow the Holy Spirit to teach, correct, and inspire you toward a stronger and more joyful marriage.

  1. “I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” – Rita Rudner
    Marriage is a divine covenant where two people journey together for life—with laughter, playfulness, and commitment.
  2. “One advantage is that, when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again.” – Judith Viorst
    Godly marriage is built on covenant love, not just feelings. Even when emotions fade, the vow keeps you anchored until love is rekindled.
  3. “For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the one miracle the Vatican has overlooked.” – Bill Cosby
    Indeed, living together in peace daily is a miracle of grace, patience, and the Holy Spirit’s help.
  4. “Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.” – Benjamin Franklin
    Be discerning before saying “I do,” and merciful after you do. Marriage requires grace and overlooking offenses. (Proverbs 19:11)
  5. “A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.” – Michel de Montaigne
    In Christian terms, both partners must walk in love, quick to forgive, slow to speak, and willing to overlook faults (James 1:19).
  6. “A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.” – Mignon McLaughlin
    A lasting union is renewed daily with fresh love, just like God’s mercies are new every morning.
  7. “It is sometimes essential for a husband and a wife to quarrel – they get to know each other better.” – Goethe
    Even disagreements can deepen understanding—if handled with humility, prayer, and forgiveness. (Ephesians 4:26–27)
  8. “There is no little difference between husbands, you might as well keep the first.” – Adela Rodgers St. John
    Marriage is not about finding a perfect partner but becoming one through God’s refining process.
  9. “No matter how happily married a woman may be, it always pleases her to discover that there is a nice man who wishes she were not.” – H.L. Mencken
    Faithful spouses must guard their hearts from flattery and temptation. Stay rooted in honor and contentment (Proverbs 5:18–19).
  10. “Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you said; after marriage, he’ll fall asleep before you finish saying it.” – Unknown
    Love should not grow dull with time. Keep cherishing your spouse’s words and heart, like Christ does His Bride.
  11. “The problem with marriage is that it ends every night after making love, and it must be rebuilt every morning before breakfast.” – Gabriel Garcia Marquez
    Marriage is daily work—like tending a vineyard, it requires constant nurturing, communication, and prayer.
  12. “After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can’t face each other, but still they stay together.” – Hemant Joshi
    Even in tension, covenant keeps us united. Turn your faces toward each other with Christ’s help.
  13. “You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly.” – Sam Keen
    Love sees with the eyes of grace—just as Christ loves us despite our flaws.
  14. “The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.” – Henny Youngman
    Yet, the Bible reveals the secret: love, forgiveness, humility, and Christ at the center.
  15. “A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong.” – Rodney Dangerfield
    Humor aside, real love forgives regardless of who’s wrong. Forgiveness is the oil that keeps the engine of marriage running.
  16. “To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the cup: whenever you are wrong, admit it. Whenever you are right, shut up.” – Ogden Nash
    Humility and wisdom build up marriage. Don’t insist on being right—choose peace. (Romans 12:18)
  17. “Behind every great man is a surprised woman.” – Maryon Pearson
    Supportive spouses empower each other—often with unexpected growth and victories through grace.
  18. “It’s not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.” – Friedrich Nietzsche
    Marriage thrives on deep friendship—companionship, laughter, and shared dreams.
  19. “So, it’s not gonna be easy. It’s going to be really hard… but I want you. I want all of you, forever.” – Nicholas Sparks
    True love commits for life, not because it’s easy, but because it’s a covenant.
  20. “Marriage is never fifty-fifty. Sometimes it’s seventy-thirty. Someone gives more.” – Jodi Picoult
    Sacrificial love, as modeled by Christ, means carrying each other’s burdens joyfully.
  21. “Men marry hoping women won’t change. Women marry hoping men will. Both are disappointed.” – Albert Einstein
    Only Christ transforms hearts. Don’t marry expecting to change someone; marry to grow together in Christ.
  22. “I don’t want to be married just to be married. I can’t think of anything lonelier than life with someone I can’t talk to—or be silent with.” – Mary Ann Shaffer
    Marry someone you can spiritually and emotionally connect with. Silence and speech both matter.
  23. “You can measure the happiness of a marriage by the number of scars on each tongue—earned from biting back angry words.” – Elizabeth Gilbert
    Self-control and gentleness guard marriages. Speak life, not wrath. (Proverbs 15:1)
  24. “By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you’ll be happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.” – Socrates
    In every marriage, God teaches wisdom—either through joy or long-suffering.
  25. “A great marriage is not when the perfect couple comes together, but when imperfect people learn to enjoy their differences.” – Dave Meurer
    Celebrate your differences. Unity doesn’t mean sameness—it means harmony. (Romans 12:4–5)
  26. “Marriage is the foundation of happiness or misery.” – George Washington
    That foundation must be Christ. Build on the Rock, not shifting sand. (Matthew 7:24–27)
  27. “There is almost no marital problem that can’t be helped enormously by taking off your clothes.” – Garrison Keillor
    Physical intimacy is God-given—when rooted in love, not manipulation. Intimacy must be mutual, loving, and respectful. (1 Corinthians 7:3–5)
  28. “You never know anyone until you marry them.” – Eleanor Roosevelt
    Marriage reveals character—yours and theirs. But with Christ, growth is possible.
  29. “Marriage: a master, a mistress, and two slaves—making two in all.” – Ambrose Bierce
    Each spouse must serve the other in love. In Christ, we lead by serving. (Ephesians 5:21)
  30. “Chains do not hold marriage together, but hundreds of tiny threads woven over the years.” – Simone Signoret
    Small daily acts of kindness, prayer, forgiveness, and patience bind hearts for life.
  31. “Success in marriage does not come merely from being the right mate.” – Barnett Brickner
    It’s not about finding the right one, but being the right one through Christ.
  32. “A long marriage is like dancing a duet and two solos at once.” – Anne Taylor Fleming
    Unity and individuality must both be preserved in harmony.
  33. “More marriages might survive if couples realized the better often comes after the worse.” – Doug Lawson
    Endurance leads to blessings. Don’t give up in hard seasons. (Galatians 6:9)
  34. (Repeated)
    Falling in love with your spouse again and again is part of the journey of oneness.
  35. “Common courtesy plays a big role. Married people are polite and kind to each other.” – Frank Pittman
    Be tenderhearted and kind. Love is not rude (1 Corinthians 13:5).
  36. “Every marriage has grounds for divorce. The trick is finding grounds for staying.” – Robert Anderson
    Look for reasons to stay, not excuses to leave. Honor the covenant.
  37. “If two stand shoulder to shoulder, even the gods are helpless.” – Maxwell Anderson
    When husband and wife agree in prayer and purpose, hell cannot prevail. (Matthew 18:19)
  38. “The three rings of marriage: engagement ring, wedding ring, suffering.” – Unknown
    There is suffering in marriage—but also glory. Through trials, we grow. (Romans 5:3–4)
  39. “Don’t marry who you can live with. Marry who you can’t live without.” – James Dobson
    Seek a covenant partner, not just a companion. Choose with spiritual discernment.
  40. “We fall in love with personality, but live with character.” – Peter De Vries
    Character matters more than charm. Christlikeness is key.
  41. “You can’t be happily married to another until you divorce yourself.” – Jerry McCant
    Die to self. Marriage demands selflessness and Christlike love. (Philippians 2:3–4)
  42. “A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.” – Ruth Bell Graham
    Forgiveness is the heart of a lasting marriage.
  43. “Marriage halves our grief, doubles our joy, and quadruples our expenses.” – Proverb
    Marriage is a partnership in all things—spiritual, emotional, and financial.
  44. “Divorcing because love died is like selling a car because it ran out of fuel.” – Diane Sollee
    Refuel love through prayer, intentional effort, and the Holy Spirit.
  45. “Happy marriages are based on deep friendship.” – John Gottman
    Friendship is the bedrock of romantic love.
  46. “What counts is not compatibility, but how you deal with incompatibility.” – Leo Tolstoy
    Differences must be managed with grace, not avoided.
  47. “The bond of all companionship is conversation.”
    Talk often. Communication brings closeness.
  48. “Marriage is our last, best chance to grow up.” – Joseph Barth
    Marriage matures us—it refines and sanctifies us.
  49. “Marriage is a heart decision, repeated daily.”
    Love is a daily choice, not just a wedding vow.
  50. “Motto for husband and wife: we are a work in progress with a lifetime covenant.” – Akin John
    God is still working on us. Stay committed to the process and the promise.

Recommended Reading
Parenting Skills For Ministers
Learning to Live a Life That Pleases God
Twenty Guidelines For A Happy Marriage

Conclusion

Marriage is more than just living together; it is walking together in unity with Christ at the center. It’s not about perfection, but about two imperfect people who choose to love each other daily—with forgiveness, patience, and understanding. True marital success comes when both husband and wife lay down selfishness and pick up the cross of love, service, and covenant commitment.

Remember, marriage is not just a contract; it is a spiritual covenant that mirrors God’s faithful love toward us. Whether you’re newly married, have been together for decades, or are preparing for marriage, these insights can guide your heart and shape your home.

Let every husband love his wife as Christ loves the Church, and let every wife honor and support her husband with wisdom and grace. Together, may your marriage reflect the glory of God, bring joy to your hearts, and stand as a testimony to others.

“Marriage is honorable among all…” – Hebrews 13:4
“A threefold cord is not quickly broken.” – Ecclesiastes 4:12