HEALTHY MARRIAGE AND FAMILY LIFE: The Joseph Generation

One of the major spiritual and practical challenges that male ministers face is marriage. By God’s design, a man is naturally driven by work, action, vision, and progress. However, the relational side of marriage—nurturing love, communication, and emotional connection—often becomes a struggle for him. On the other hand, women are generally created by God to be relational, nurturing, cooperative, and emotionally sensitive. Therefore, women often find it easier to manage marriage.

Yet, every godly man must be taught and trained in how to love and relate with his wife in a Christlike manner. Studies and spiritual insight reveal that many marital crises trace back to the attitude, ignorance, or failure of the husband. That’s why every minister and Christian man must look to the life of Joseph, the earthly father of Jesus, and learn from his example of godliness, humility, and leadership in the home.

As men of God, we must align with what we call the “Joseph Generation”—men who model Christ in their homes, who lead with compassion and righteousness, and who walk in wisdom and self-control in marriage and parenting.

A. THE HUSBAND AS HEAD OF THE HOME

Genesis 2:18–20; Colossians 3:14; Ephesians 5:25–31; 1 Peter 3:7–9

The Word of God clearly gives spiritual leadership (headship) of the home to the man. Headship does not mean dictatorship or that the husband is always right. It doesn’t imply that the woman is inferior, or that the man makes all decisions alone. Rather, it means the man sets the spiritual, emotional, and physical tone of the home. What the husband invests is what the home reflects.

To be a Christlike husband, every man should strive to live out the meaning of H.U.S.B.A.N.D:

H – Honest and Humble: A truthful and transparent man, who walks in integrity and meekness.
U – Unselfish and Understanding: He puts others first and listens to his wife’s needs.
S – Surrendered to God and Selfless: He fears the Lord and does not live for himself alone.
B – Banker and Balanced: He provides for his household financially and emotionally.
A – Affectionate and Approachable: He is loving, gentle, and easy to talk to.
N – Naked and Not Ashamed: Open about his struggles, accountable in his walk.
D – Determined and Devoted: He is committed to his wife and stands firm in love.

Three Levels of Christian Marriage:

Parental Consent – Genesis 24:55–56, 60; Ruth 4:9–11
Marriage must begin with the blessing of parents, which provides a foundation of honor and accountability. Parents have spiritual authority to approve or withdraw their children from relationships not pleasing to God.
Court Wedding (Legalization) – This ensures that the marriage is recognized under the law, which is important for integrity and accountability in society.
Church Solemnization – A public covenant before God and His people, with prayers, blessings, and scriptural affirmation.

The most spiritually foundational step is parental consent, supported with serious prayer for God’s perfect will.

Unbiblical Variants of Marriage Today:

Elopement – Marriage without parental approval.
Unequally yoked unions – A believer marrying an unbeliever (2 Cor. 6:14).
Polygamy – Having multiple wives at the same time, which opposes God’s plan.
Cohabitation – Living together without marriage.
Same-sex marriages – Male to male or female to female, which contradicts God’s design.
Single parenting by choice – Choosing to raise children outside the design of marriage.

These are all unscriptural practices, and God’s Word condemns them clearly.

B. QUALITIES OF A GOOD AND GODLY HUSBAND

Matthew 1:18–21; 2:13–14, 19–23; Luke 2:41–48

Joseph, the earthly father of Jesus, is a divine blueprint for Christian husbands. Every man in ministry or faith must seek to emulate him. His life shows what it means to be a true servant-leader, husband, and father.

Key Attributes of Joseph:

He chose a godly woman – A virgin, full of virtue.
He was righteous and God-fearing – He had a heart for God.
He honored his wife as a person, not a possession.
He was kind and thoughtful, even when he misunderstood her pregnancy.
He was spiritually sensitive and teachable—God could guide him.
He had a strong relationship with God—he could hear divine instructions.
He was calm and patient, not ruled by emotions or anger.
He obeyed God promptly, even when the instructions were hard.
He did not harbor bitterness, even in confusing moments.
He showed deep love and loyalty to Mary.
He was willing to suffer ridicule for standing with her.
He remained celibate until she gave birth—a mark of great discipline.
He accepted and raised Jesus as his own son.
He protected and provided for the child, moving from city to city.

Joseph was truly a model husband and father. To be part of the Joseph Generation, we must seek grace, growth, and godly discipline to live up to this divine example.

C. THE SEVEN KINDS OF NEGATIVE HUSBANDS IN TODAY’S WORLD

Sadly, many men today—including some in the church and ministry—have drifted from God’s standard. These are the kinds of husbands that bring pain, confusion, and brokenness into homes.

Baby Husband – Immature, irresponsible, and unwilling to lead. He’s passive, lacking vision and initiative. He exists but doesn’t lead.
Wife-Husband – The wife becomes the breadwinner and burden bearer, while he sits idle. He complains about lack of job but makes no effort. This is against God’s design for the man to be the provider (1 Tim. 5:8).
Money Husband – He provides material things but withholds affection, love, and emotional presence. He is often absent, overworked, and disconnected from the family.
Sex Husband – Obsessed with sexual gratification. He is abusive, demanding, and promiscuous. He lacks sexual discipline and breaks his marital vows.
General Husband – Involved with multiple women and children, without emotional or spiritual responsibility. He spreads his seed but not his heart.
Impotent Husband – Weak in all areas: physically, spiritually, financially, and emotionally. He is married but fails to function in his God-given role. Others take over what he should be doing.
Abusive Husband – He wounds with words and hands. He curses, beats, and emotionally tortures his wife. His behavior closes the heavens over his life, because a wife’s cry can hinder a man’s prayers (1 Peter 3:7).

Unfortunately, many ministers and leaders also show signs of these types due to:

Poor examples from their own fathers
Lack of biblical marriage teachings
Emotional immaturity
Carnal influences and peer pressure
Backgrounds of polygamy or broken homes
Unyielded spiritual lives

A FINAL WORD TO THE JOSEPH GENERATION

Brothers, we must rise as men of character, compassion, and Christlikeness. The church, the community, and the next generation are looking to us. God is raising a Joseph Generation—faithful husbands, loving fathers, godly leaders—men who protect, nurture, and lead their homes under God’s authority.

Let us be counted among them.

“The righteous man walks in his integrity; his children are blessed after him.” – Proverbs 20:7