Honeymoon Stage
Realization Stage

Avoidance Adaptation

Nagging Endurance

Explosive Genuine Love & Understanding

Divorce Intimacy Level

Honeymoon Renewed Honeymoon

Marriage is like a vehicle on a long journey.

To start you need to service, fuel, refuel, gauge the fire, check the lights because it may becomes dark along the way.

There will be express road
There will be rough road
There will be potholes
Illegal checkpoints may exist.

Some vehicle crash, some knock, sometime burst, some get to their destination.

Like every physical journey you undertake, marriage is a trip of faith. Your marriage will not crash!

First and Foremost:

God is the author of marriage; marriage is the brainchild of God. Genesis 2:18 Adam never complained, God was the one who ordain and initiated marriage.

Make sure your marriage is GOD – ORDAINED.

What God do not ordain; heaven will not SUSTAIN!

Prayer is not relevant, he didn’t start it, you have to struggle in it.

Another Point,

Are you set, are you prepared
- Are you spiritually strong?
- Are you emotionally stable to withstand in-law hatred
- Can you take decisions?
- Are you a boy or a man
- Are you a girl or a woman?
- Are you willing to lose some part of yourself?

Remember Adam lost his rib, you must be ready to lose your personality.

But losing rib, he gained a helper!

7 STAGES OF A CRASHING MARRIAGE

1. HONEYMOON STAGE

This is Genesis 2:25 stage – they were both naked and were not ashamed.

Differences seems unimportant. Focus is sharing life together.

Physical cleaving is evident at this stage.

This is where secrets before marriage are revealed.

The woman that opposed us, what my father said etc. Every fault is laughed over.

For highly matured man and woman it can last for 2 years or more.

For some it is matter of weeks.

The marriage of Samson and his first wife crashed at this stage.

Samson fell in love and couldn’t hold secrets!

Judges 14:15-18,20

Out of frustration, he went into harlots before finally seeing a woman he loved.

2. REALITY STAGE

After the honeymoon, the hidden behaviour begins to manifest.

If the woman is lousy but the initial love covered all sins… now you begin to realize.

If the man is in love with his mother more than you, you begin to know!

Excitement falls, disappointment set it.

Spiritual status – become obvious

The man may love his work more than the wife

It is called: “what was I thinking stage”.

This stage is very challenging. The stage witnesses the highest risk of extra – marital affairs / divorce.

If you are deceived into marriage, no one is able to pretend any longer.

Question like: I think I make a mistake crops up OR I married the wrong person!

3. AVOIDANCE:

Because of the realization of what is on ground, the man begins to avoid the woman.

He may begin to fall in love with his work or stay in working place longer.

The use of monosyllables becomes common.

When are you coming back – Anytime

What of the school fees – on the table

Soup money – tomorrow

Going to bed late, marriage to newspaper or tv, waking up early, are all characteristics of this stage. They no longer go out together. If they are using separate room, the case become worse.

Affection the supreme need is denied, communication is limited and straight, the 4th stage shows.

4. NAGGING

Consistent fault finding, murmuring and complaining. This is usually a reaction from the side of the woman, especially when the woman lacks wisdom for building a home. It involves criticism and comparison. The home becomes hot, even visitors can’t stay; the temperature is high, the children will feel it. More and more avoidance comes in and hatred follows. Prov 21:19

At this stage the man has no option.

5. EXPLOSIVE STAGE

Physical fight, war of words is a matter of time. It’s like the woman cannot bear it, and the man cannot endure it.

3 types of marriage

Impossible
Manageable
Successful

A man with strong emotional make up may never go into explosion. Then the marriage is endured and never enjoyed.

STAGES OF A CRASHING MARRIAGE